I Think I Finally Found a Doctor!

In my quest to find someone to help me by Googling terms such as “endometriosis doctor Philadelphia” etc. this one certain doctor (we’ll call him “Dr. B”) kept showing up in my search results. Initially I was wary of Dr. B because he’s not affiliated with a practice group, has privileges at a far away hospital that I’ve never heard of, and has his own website. He is on my insurance network though, so I took a risk and called for an appointment. The staff was super friendly, caring, and helpful, and he had available appointments as soon as 3 days from the date I called. Because of other obligations, my appointment isn’t for another 9 days. I filled out the more-than-comprehensive 16-page (16!) new patient background form and have all my previous medical records ready to take with me.

I couldn’t get over how Dr. B genuinely seems interested in knowing all about me and, specifically, what my concerns and symptoms are. He’s extremely well-studied and accredited in infertility (and, more importantly, endometriosis) and does regular GYN visits in addition to REI. He ALSO does in-house ultrasounds! I always had an in-house u/s done at all visits with my prior out-of-state OB/GYN (“Dr. S”) and was astounded at the way PA docs always want to send patients to the hospital for a routine u/s. Among other things, Dr. B’s website discusses how most GYN’s “feel” for endo by pelvic exams only and how that’s such b.s. since one can’t “feel” endo. I know for a fact that that is an absolute truth. The GYN I’ve seen twice since moving to PA (we’ll call him “Dr. M”) always simply performs a brief pelvic exam on me, then “clears” me because he didn’t “feel” anything. When I pressed Dr. M for an u/s at BOTH of my visits to him he blew me off each time. Unfortunately, Dr. M. was always and only concerned with referring me out to another doctor anyway. Needless to say, I am so freakin excited because–even though I haven’t met him yet–I really think Dr. B could be my guy. And I really need a guy.  If Dr. B turns out to be my guy, adios y vaya con Dios to Dr. M.

On the other side of things, I had my initial appointment with the therapist a week ago (Dee). Despite the drive (which went decently after all) and my generalized nervousness at the whole situation, it went extremely well. Dee was kind, compassionate, thorough, and a good listener. She used some kind of “relating” technique with me where she pretended to agree with my frustrations as though she’d experienced them herself (which I know isn’t true because she has kids). IDK if I appreciate that or whether I see it as an obvious psychological tool that she didn’t realize was quite so apparent. Regardless, I’m scheduled to see Dee again in 2 days. Technique aside, she was very helpful and it was such a humungous relief to discuss this issue with someone other than DH or any number of my friends who can’t relate because they are moms and have moms and it all just went so darn smoothly for them.

Things seem to be on a moving trajectory with this issue these days, which is a tremendous relief since they’ve essentially been stagnating for 3+ years. I really feel there is hope. I am coming closer to the point where I can believe God for healing and believe that He’s not mad at me all the time. I also believe that God uses medicine and doctors to heal, and perhaps he’s led me to Dr. B. I don’t want to compromise or walk the line or have the best of both worlds. I just want relief, healing, and a baby of my own. However God chooses to do that (if having a baby is His will. I really hope that it is) is okay by me.

Author: Marixsa

Resolving infertility as childless-not-by-choice and encouraging fellow endo warriors along the way.

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