Surviving Another Mother’s Day

I’ll keep this short, since I’ve read so many wonderful, encouraging blog posts from fellow TTC-ers that were such a balm to my heart and far more well-written than what I can come up with on the remaining minutes of my lunch break today. At least The Day is behind us now for another year and we survived.

mday2

For a myriad of reasons that I’ll not take up the next hour detailing, Mother’s Day is seriously, hands down THE HARDEST day of the year for me. I dreaded it as a child being the only kid I knew whose mom died when they were a baby, and I’ve dreaded it as an adult: first after our m/c in 2002 and even more so since beginning TTC.

This year I survived the M-Day by turning off my phone, skipping church, avoiding FB, not going to any restaurants, and treating myself to a large dark chocolate candy bar, all while lying in bed with cramps and spotting like crazy. Fun stuff. And, it mostly worked. (Except for the cashier at the grocery store, but, bless her, she was so sweet about it when she wished me a happy M-Day.) Cause ya know, really—even though I never had the opportunity to meet my baby and even though he never made it far enough to take his first breath —I Am Still A Mother. Us early loss and m/c mamas are still mothers, whether our babies are on earth or waiting in heaven to meet us.

So, WHEW, we made it through another year!

mday

Author: Marixsa

Resolving infertility as childless-not-by-choice and encouraging fellow endo warriors along the way.

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