2 Days Late

AF is two days late. I’m a ball of nerves. My stomach is in knots. I literally check for spotting a few times every hour. If even the slightest amount of light brown spotting shows, I immediately change my pantiliner so any new spotting can be accounted for. Waiting until tomorrow morning to POAS. Tomorrow I’ll unofficially-officially be “late” since some months I end up on a longer cycle. My two days late is based on my normal 27-day cycle that likes to screw with me every few months and show up as a 29-day cycle. Ya know. Just for fun.

Here’s the daily breakdown from this week, with symptoms on a scale of 1 (mild), 2 (bothersome), 3 (moderate), and 4 (heavy). It’s kinda TMI for anyone who wants to skip over it:

Sunday: 98.69º. Backache (2/4), cramps (1/4). Only 1 spot brownish/clear spotting.

Monday: 98.56º. Moodiness, irritability (2/4). AF due tomorrow. Intermittent light brown spotting with little-to-moderate amount discharged.

Tuesday: 98.66º. AF due today. Am always below 98º on AF’s first day, so temp still elevated. Very, very heavy cramps between 8 pm – midnight. Cramps (4/4), PMS and ovary pain (1/4).

Wednesday: 98.19º. AF 1 day late. Very occasional, intermittent light brown spotting with little discharged. Cramps (3/4), ovary pain (2/4).

Thursday: 98.29º. AF 2 days late. Cramps (2/4). One small spot light brown spotting with little discharged.

I can’t concentrate on ANY-thing! Boss has been yammering on and on today about Lord knows what, but I don’t hear a word he says because I’m in total la-la space cadet land. I’m SO EXCITED to POAS in the morning if AF still isn’t here! The anticipation is maddening! I go back and forth, back and forth, up and down between wanting to hope and keeping myself from hoping. I envision little fantasies of how to tell DH the news, picking out baby names, where to register, and what PG will feel like. Then I stop, reminding myself of how much more crushing the disappointment of a BFN / AF’s arrival will be if I allow myself to go too far. This is such a cruel game.

Holy canolis is this screwing with my head.

tinypotato

Author: Marixsa

Resolving infertility as childless-not-by-choice and encouraging fellow endo warriors along the way.

14 thoughts on “2 Days Late”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

tuesdaynews

Pleasant words are as a honeycomb: sweet to the soul and health to the bones. - Proverbs 16:24

Childless by Marriage

In a society where most people have kids, some of us don't because our partners are unable or unwilling to make babies. That's what this blog and my book, Childless by Marriage, are about. Let's talk about what it's really like.

The joy in small things

Parenting and everything else after infertility

Thinking to Believe

An Oasis for Thoughtful Christians

Surprised By Marriage

Sharing the struggles an

The State Of Being Sober

Margot's Movement. A journey of sobriety and saying no to the Sauvignon. Once, and for all.

Discover WordPress

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Christine Seifert

Lady professor by day. Reader by night. Sometimes I write books.

The Good, The Bad and the Stuff Inbetween

This is a first hand account of my journey through IVF and life beyond

Sparkly With Endo

A journey to find my sparkle while living with endometriosis

Anne Brock

A Spiritual Journey Through Creativity

Michelle Lesley

Discipleship for Christian Women

infertilityhonesty

Childless Not By Choice Infertility Survivorhood

TheParalegal

Innovating for the Future

Pee on the sticks

a real IVF story

Tricia Thirey

Choosing Joy in Every Moment

The End Time

Exalting the name of Jesus through Christian essays

Cramping my Style

A 20 something girl suffering Endometriosis, documenting the glamour of day to day life with an invisible illness...

The Paralegal Society™

a forum created to educate, motivate and inspire paralegals to engage in the pursuit of excellence for all paralegalkind.

Colouring In My Life

From diagnosis to acceptance, with Endometriosis in between

Jesus and Coffee

Faith, family, beauty...we’ve got it all going on here!

Coffee Made Better

Stopping bad coffee.

straightmissteps.wordpress.com/

"In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." -Proverbs 3:6

InDevinsWords

Surviving with PCOS; my side of the story.

Waiting for the Bump

The Process of Starting a Family With the Help of Infertility

Rebecca’s World

Even miracles take a little time

cherrellemelton

Life as Mrs M 🌻💛

Ethical Grounds

The Unofficial Blog of Vermont's Bar Counsel

Journey of Restored Hope

Every person has a unique story to share and I would like to pass along my story in an effort to help others find hope in the darkest of places.

Tears in a Bottle

A safe haven for wounded hearts.

Insomnia Girl

and the Very Important Thoughts keeping her awake

Lallie Lee

Learning to Live Fearless

Boo Wholefoods

Eating the healthy way to keep endometriosis at bay.