Beta Day

2poshptdigThe results are in! Beta #1 was this morning—BFP! Booya! My hcg level was 58.4. Currently I’m 9dp5dt (or, on a natural cycle, 14dpo). I return to the clinic on 13dp5dt for my second beta. Various online forums assure me that the results of a second beta are even more important than the first beta.

Confession time: I already knew.

Yeah, yeah, I know I said before that I wouldn’t test early or symptom count. And honestly, I did NOT symptom count. But therein lies the problem: I had no symptoms (thank you, Crinone). With no symptoms to obsess over, well, life became boring and the wait seemed so eternal, and well….

I caved.

On 5dp5dt, I tested: BFN. On 6dp5dt, I tested again: another BFN. Seeing those single lines were a bummer, but I knew it was still very early. At best, it proved no false positives from a leftover trigger shot hcg.

All this changed on the morning of 7dp5dt though. Because that test? It had a faint line! So, since I clearly had nothing better to do with my time, I dutifully drove like a wildwoman to Walmart and bought four more brands of tests just to be sure, and saw even more faint lines the same morning.  (*Incidental side note: The chick at the register who rang up my multiple boxes of HPTs was very visibly pregnant herself. I didn’t realize this when I initially got in her line. She finished ringing me up and, as I was leaving, smiled and said, “Good luck! I wish you lots of baby dust.” Ahh, a fellow TTC-er! Because, seriously, who in real life uses the term “baby dust” like it’s a totally normal thing to say? She completely made my day.*)   In the p.m. I got a stronger line on the FRER and a “positive” on the Clearblue. Rinse and repeat, you get the idea…. I’ve taken no less than twelve HPTs in the last 48 hours and every single one of them has been a BFP.

When my nurse asked me at this morning’s beta whether I had tested at home, I casually replied, “Nope. I held out.”

I’m not sure why I lied. Maybe I was expecting a lecture. Maybe I still wanted to keep this thrilling secret something that was all mine. Maybe I wanted her to feel like she would be giving me genuinely unexpected good news when she called me with the results. Who knows.

Happy news. Terrifying news. In 4 years of TTC and 12 years of marriage and 33 years of life I have never seen before seen two lines. Ever. Not even on my m/c because I didn’t even know when it happened that I was preggers. There’s a small army of used HPTs under our bathroom cabinet that I can’t bear to throw away.

As my new Walmart friend says, “Baby dust to you all.”

Author: Marixsa

Resolving infertility as childless-not-by-choice and encouraging fellow endo warriors along the way.

28 thoughts on “Beta Day”

  1. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! This is the best day ever for you! So happy for you and holy crap, happy dance!

    Like

  2. OH MY GOSH!!! I am so happy for you!!!!! Truly, I am so happy to have found you on here because seeing your story come full circle is beautiful and I’m so happy to know of it!!! Congratulations!!

    Like

  3. I’m late to the game.. AGAIN! (I was in P’burg over the weekend watching the steelers lose 😦 ) I’m am so happy to see this!! I have to be honest, It’s not always the case where I am genuinely happy for someone. But I have read your blog from beginning to today, and I can not be more happy for you. I haven’t even cracked the ice burg in terms of treatment, and your a vet. You are finally getting your chance! I’ll be reading along as you progress!! Again, Congratulations 🙂 ❤

    Like

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