Okay, so I might have slightly misled you. I really don’t have a plan. In fact, I probably haven’t been very clear on this blog about what’s next for us in our Quest for Baby. Well, that mystery is about to be solved. ‘Cause here’s the answer: not much.
I have the deepest admiration for those of you who soldier through back-to-back ART cycles, and I wish that I could do the same. Such a feat is not possible for us right now, though it’s not for lack of wanting to. If I had infertility treatment insurance coverage then I’d be right there alongside you, my blogger friends, trying again and again and again. But, my plan has zilch coverage for such extravagantly “unnecessary” treatments, so here I am. Juuuust hanging out….waiting and trying… Blogging occasional random ruminations about all-things-fertility, while watching my biological tick-tock into infinity.
I’m pretty sure that another IVF is not in my reproductive future. The only way we’d be able to do another IVF round is if: (a) I won the lottery, or (b) we befriended a benefactor both rich and generous. Since I don’t even play the lottery, my odds seem pretty nil on that front. And, so far, no rich benefactors have come a’calling. Short of taking out a massive loan, the IVF ship seems to have sailed its final course.
We continue to try naturally, although the last two months have both been busts. In July I had all that weird bleeding, so I was out a month. Then this month I’m also having…yep, more mystery bleeding! I also didn’t ovulate this month, which I was surprised to learn is a common side effect from Provera. In fact, there’s only been a handful of months in 2016 that have been normal cycles for me complete with ovulation, so thus far 2016 hasn’t exactly been our year. Things could always turn around though, and I very much believe that I will eat these words come December 31st.
At least I’m not completely out of the game! I’ve been investigating another cleanup surgery (lap) for my incessant endometriosis. This would be my fifth surgery. Aside from drastically increasing my odds of conceiving naturally, the other big reason I want another surgery is that I am so over being in pain all the time…grrr. I literally never stop feeling my ovary, all day, every day. Whether it’s pulsing, throbbing, or outright screaming at me, this has.got.to.stop. Lately I can add weird random shooting pains near my uterus to my pain factor. They come out of nowhere, which means I could just be walking down the street or sitting on the train when—WHAM!—a pain will strike and double me over. Besides being embarrassing, this kind of pain is so not cool just in general. It also keeps me up at night diagnosing myself with all kinds of far-flung, worst-case-scenario maladies… Anxiety’s such a monster.
I won’t let just any old doctor perform my next surgery though. I’ve been down that road before and, just, no. It’s a challenge, because there’s very, very, VERY few doctors out there specializing in endometriosis. My personal experience has been that I tend to know more about this disease than the majority of doctors I’ve dealt with! That said, I did find one potential contender: He’s a gynecologic endoscopy specialist (fancy!) whose practice is located about two hours from where I live. This doctor seems to really know his stuff about endo and he has 4,000+ laparoscopic surgeries under his belt… well, so to speak, haha! I haven’t called for an appointment yet, but he looks very promising. Fingers crossed!
Despite no real plan save the maybe-surgery, things could be much worse, reproductively speaking. There is always hope, and God still does the impossible! So until maybe-surgery time gets here, I do have some fun things coming up that I’m looking forward to:
- A Joyce Meyer conference this weekend. Joyce is only in my state once a year and this year I WILL attend the conference, distance be damned! Seriously, every time I listen to/watch Joyce Meyer I wish that she was my mother. She rocks!
- A Labor Day cookout in a few weeks. I freakin love Labor Day weekend. It’s still technically summer, but it also unofficially ushers in autumn, which is my favorite season.
- A conference that my profession’s local association is hosting at the end of September. I have no real colleagues to speak of in my workplace, so I’m very much looking forward to a paid day of networking and a day free from Boss.
- Sewing classes. My sister and I have signed up for sewing classes at Jo-Ann Fabrics. I’ve always wanted to learn to sew, but never got even the basics down. I mean, I struggle to sew buttons back on a shirt; the scrunchy I made in seventh grade home ec class was little more than a floppy, unwearable circular cloth. My first class is in mid-September and I’m excited for it, even if it might mean near-certain decimation of another innocent garmet.
- Home Depot workshop. On the third Thursday of each month, my local Home Depot (and yours, too!) holds a free women-only workshop. We’ll be making “vintage wheelbarrows” at the workshop that I signed up for. I feel kind of silly admitting that I’m excited for this. But the truth is that I AM crazy looking forward to it, cause I totally heart making crafty décor.
- Camping. Our annual family camping trip is only 7 weeks away! My entire family gets together, we bring our campers and tents plus a whole lot of grub, and spend the weekend camping at a quaint country campground. I usually begin looking forward to the next trip before the current trip has even ended. Jake and I bought a popup camper last year, so we’re always stoked for a chance to use it.
- Bike ride. The annual 19k organized bike ride that my dad and I participate in each year is only 2 weeks away! It’s a great ride for a great cause, and an added bonus is that most of the course runs along a scenic river canal. Oh yeah, did I mention that my dad is almost 72 years old and he does this ride like a boss? This is truly one of my favorite rides and I’m ridic excited for it.
So now you guys are all caught up in our lack-of-a-plan plans, and I hope I haven’t put you to sleep cause I feel like I’ve said a whole lot of nothing here.
However, one of the best things about plans is that they’re always subject to change. And I wouldn’t mind if this one changed, like, a whole lot! Besides, who knows? While I’m busy looking one way for that mystery benefactor, God may have a much better plan in store for me coming from the opposite direction. I hope He does.