2016: A Different Kind of TTC

change.jpg

Let’s start this off by saying that the changes I’ve made for Mission: 2016 Pregnancy/Baby haven’t exactly been fruitful. Aside from the spring miscarriage, not even the faintest of two pink lines or the remotest natural pregnancy possibility were had. From all appearances, 2016 has been a gigantic fertility FAIL, and it was no more successful than the preceding four years of TTC. Examples: my cycles in 2016 have been a wildly swinging pendulum, ranging from both scarily long (107 days) to freakishly short (13 days) and everywhere else in between. Maybe four or five times this entire year I’ve actually ovulated. There was an FET, followed by miscarriage #3/chemical pregnancy. Then there’s been these past few months of unexplained bleeding. All fails. Big, fat, giant, sloppy fails.

Even so, I have made some positive changes this year for my fertility health! My hope is that—by continuing them over time and being consistent—they’ll help me reach my end goal of a natural pregnancy:

  • Baby Aspirin: I started taking baby aspirin in March, about a month before my FET. I’ve never been diagnosed with any clotting issues, but taking baby aspirin every day somehow makes me feel better. Maybe it’s psychological, maybe it’s physical. Who knows. But it doesn’t hurt to keep taking it. I’ll have to stop taking the baby aspirin about three weeks before my upcoming surgery, but it’s just temporary. I’ll pick back up with it once I’ve healed from surgery.
  • Red Raspberry Leaf Tea: I bought 2 pounds of loose, organic RRL tea back in February and STILL have plenty leftover! I only drink it for the first two-thirds of my cycle, since it really shouldn’t be drunk during early pregnancy. There’s no telling if the RRL tea has actually helped my uterus. But it’s something proactive that makes me feel like I’m actually doing something, so why not?
  • Acupuncture. This should actually be added to my “fail” list. I managed to endure suffer through six weeks of acu prior to my FET. All my fellow TTC-ers in Blog Land love acupuncture and swear by it. But for me? Not so much. My extreme sensitivity to touch combined with a low pain threshold means that acupuncture is uncomfortable-bordering-on-painful for me. I would leave my acu appointments feeling sore and tense and anxiously dreading the next session. From what I’ve read online, a small percentage of people have this type of reaction to acu. I guess I’m part of the minority here, but I’m not completely alone at least. Acupuncture for increased fertility is apparently not part of my fertility plan.
  • Smoking Cessation: I’d quit smoking in summer 2015 prior to my first IVF. After miscarriage #2 from that cycle, I [accidentally but kind of on purpose too] picked back up on the habit. From there, it took me another four whole months to quit again. But then miscarriage #3 happened. And I went back to smoking yet again. It’s a struggle, people! I smoked for twenty years. Not heavily, maybe seven or so cigs a days, but still… A long time. And it’s not something I’m exactly thrilled to admit on here. Anyway, I quit for a third time in June 2016 and have made it six months smoke free! I’m not gonna lie: I still miss it sometimes a lot. But I feel better overall being a nonsmoker, and continue to take it one day at a time.
  • Supplements. This year I added DHEA, CoQ10, vitamin D, mineral supplements, daily prenatals, L-Arginine, ester C, and B-complex to my supplement list. In previous years, I was only taking multi-vitamins. I’ve talked a bit about this before here.
  • Sayonara, plastic: During a sudden burst of inspiration, I chucked all plasticware from my kitchen. No BPA in Marixa’s house! One day back in the spring, Jake came home to find me in the kitchen surrounded knee-deep by pitchers, food storage containers, Ziplock bags, jars, and any other plastic-y items in my path of destruction. I gathered them into a trash bag and pitched them all in the trash. Then I went out and spent a tiny fortune replacing everything with glassware. Anything that mimicks estrogen in our bodies is bad in general, but especially so for those of us with endometriosis. So goodbye, you plastic endocrine disruptors, you.

When it’s all said and done, I’ve done all that I know to do. The rest is up to God. His timing will ultimately win, despite all the little futile”isms” I may do in my own limited human strength. I’m still believing in Him to “…make the barren woman [me] a happy mother of children.

So I bid adieu to 2016 and look forward with hopeful expectation to 2017. Goodbye, year of fertility fails. Goodbye, year of weird cycles. Goodbye, fertility treatments. Goodbye, anovulatory cycles. Goodbye, intermenstrual bleeding. And finally, goodbye, my much-desired embryo who tried so, so very much, but just couldn’t stay comfy more than a few weeks in my womb. You were loved; you are still loved; you will always be loved.

And welcome to a new year of possibilities, of renewed faith, of restored fertility. Of being the year my dreams come true.

My prayer for all of you, my fellow TTC-ers, who are still trying for that miracle baby, or are waiting on edge for that adoption to come through, or are searching to find (or pay for!) a gestational surrogate—or wherever else you may be in your fertility quest—is for God’s peace, prosperity, comfort, and widsom to surround you. I pray that your dreams come true and your prayers are answered for your miracle child in 2017.

All things are possible to [s]he who believes.

Peace.

2016

Advertisements

Author: Marixsa

Navigating the infertility waters and encouraging other mamas-in-waiting along the way.

12 thoughts on “2016: A Different Kind of TTC”

  1. Good for you! I’m so bummed that acupuncture was not relaxing for you – like others, it puts me into happy mellow land, and I actually go to it more to just chill out rather than think it’s truly going to help me get pregnant. 2016 brought me knowledge about thyroid health that is what I think truly brought about my summer miscarriage and issues with IVF embryo implantation, after two doctors (one RE, one ND) dismissed its level of relevance and failed to educate me about TSH needing to be below 2.0 and neither testing my antibodies which turned out were 4-5X normal range and have been shown to quadruple the chance of miscarriage. My focus now is to get my thyroid in order, take care of my body, and find new ways to mellow out in the coming year as I prepare for cycle 6. We gotta go with our instincts, advocate for ourselves and do what’s right for our physical AND mental. I hope your 2017 brings you the joy you deserve!

    Like

    1. Crazy that your thyroid was never tested! How did that slip past?! One of the first things that my RE #2 did was test my TSH (had never been done before). It was like 4.5! Now it’s back down to 1.5 where it should be….so important for TTC. I’m glad that you pushed and got those tests done and are now making progress.

      I’m rooting for you in 2017! Happy almost new year. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah not all REs believe that thyroid has much to do with anything, seems about 1/3 don’t test that. But what’s worse is that my regular doc who knows I have hypothyroidism and had prescribed meds for it never mentioned that my levels were too high (it was 8.4 in April and 5.0 when I had my miscarriage in early August). I always wonder if the 7 embryos I’ve already transferred would have been winners if my thyroid was fixed up. Not making much progress yet – my TSH skyrocketed from 2.5 to 7.5 this month on estrogen for my mock cycle so now I’m all the way up to 175 mcg of synthroid and cytomel twice a day to boot. Ugh.

        Like

      2. That’s much too high! Even if you weren’t TTC, it should be treated. I hope you can get it under control soon. For me, it took about 8 or 9 months to get my TSH to 2 or below. Maybe give it more time?

        Like

      3. I’ve been treated for hypothyroidism for almost 15 years now. With compounded medication it got down to 2.1 in October after just a few months, but delestrogen caused it to triple ( which it’s known to do to the thyroid). I’m turning 43 next month so I don’t have a lot of time to wait for this to get fixed anymore.

        Like

  2. oh my gosh, I couldn’t get into acupuncture either! I just didn’t understand why people love it so much. I’d find it uncomfortable and sometimes painful and not particularly relaxing! I have been wondering whether I should give it another chance but I just didn’t like it. Wishing you a great 2017!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s