Miscarriage # 4

Well, I was wrong in my last post.  I was indeed pregnant after all.  I feel very foolish.  Early this morning I miscarried.

It was bad. I’d forgotten (which is probably a good thing…) just how physically painful miscarriage is.  Even the “chemical” miscarriages, a/k/a early losses.

I’m kind of stunned and in a weird place right now.  The fact that Jake and I got pregnant at all without intervention is pretty amazing.  But, still.  The ending doesn’t feel as incredible as the knowledge that we actually conceived.

Maybe I’ll write more about it later.  For now, I took a sick day from work and am staying in bed to ride this thing out.

Could be that we’re both just in shock.


Author: Marixsa

Resolving infertility as childless-not-by-choice and encouraging fellow endo warriors along the way.

11 thoughts on “Miscarriage # 4”

  1. I’m sorry 😦 It is so tricky and hard to know how to feel, and it is okay to feel many things. IF and loss blow.

    Treat yourself well. Lay in bed as long as you want or need to.

    Thinking of you.


  2. Oh my gosh. My heart breaks for you, but how amazing that you got pregnant naturally! 😱😱 but i know that doesnt really help right now, we had a “chemical” /miscarriage with one of our embryos, its absolutely gutting. Senfing love from across the world x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awe man! What!?!? It’s just not fair.
      Though I don’t say much, I read your every post. I hope for the best for you and your family. I’m so sorry you have to experience this again. The physical pain and everything else that goes with it and hangs around for months on end.
      Remember to take all the time you need. Grief has no bounds.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! That is quite a development. I’m so sorry for you as your loss is just so sad and unfair. There are no adequate words to properly address the grief of miscarriage. This stuff is so shit and baffling. I wish you strength and hope you have people around you supporting you and giving you the love you deserve.

    Liked by 1 person

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